To My Dearest...

You once again proved how your emotions can sometimes turn into a roller coaster ride.

A lot of things happened. Things that you were not expecting to happen. Or maybe you did but you shook the ideas off long time ago. Maybe it’s time to look back and see what you might have missed. Sit down. I want to talk to you about them.



You loved a person. For six months you never failed to express your love in a way that you know how and in many other ways that are new to you. Ways you never knew you could do just to be a better end of a two-way relationship. You sacrificed a lot of things and you were hurt in the most unthinkable ways in the past and you treated the relationship a gift from God, a reward for being a good person. But this relationship has tested you in a lot of ways. It reached the end of your rope many times but for some reasons you have never ran out of patience. You became a more mature person in the process which is a good thing. But then the start of your fear came up one morning. Once again, as you always do to preserve yourself, you stopped presuming and ignored the obvious. You let your fear marinate for 5 days. But you had the feeling that even if you let it marinate for a month, the result would just be the same. You were right. Unfortunately you were right. And by being right you were left. And once again you were alone. But you picked yourself up and tried to move on right then and there. You thought you have moved on but the person seemed to have infiltrated your strongest barrier. You became weak and you let that person in. Were you aware of it? ‘Coz it seems to me now that you can’t let that person out. I know this is no time to blame anybody so let’s just figure out a way to get you out of this mess. It’s good that you don’t dwell in sadness. You are still the strongest person I know when it comes to handling your emotions. You asked God for guidance and you trust in His plans and that helps you cope up and it gives you a reason to wake up.

You almost lost a friend. Your friend who’s always there even in those times when he does not want to be there. For some reason you neglected him. Don’t ask me why ‘coz I don’t know that answer myself. You found out about his illness and that’s when you realized you could lose him. Let me remind you that this happened when love has challenged you to wait and hope that your relationship could survive. I’m still wondering ‘till now how you managed to hold those emotions inside of you. I have to admit that your emotional quotient exceeds that of a normal person. That or you were faking it. But it doesn’t matter now because you and your friend are ok now. I hope you learned your lesson well with this one.

A friend needed you. I must say this makes me stop and think for a lot of times. It still amazes me how things wound up this way. You, in the middle of an emotional recuperation and a possible psychological bungee jumping, were consulted by a needy friend. A friend whom you almost had feelings to. If you’d ask me I am against the idea of you flirting with that friend from the beginning and I’m glad you stopped. Your needy friend had your problems before only in a different perspective. Do you remember when you were rejected by a handful of people? That’s what happened to your friend – only now your friend was the one rejecting. The conflict and the drama that you heard from your needy friend had made you realize one thing – the world is really unfair. How could a person throw a relationship so easily when you were working your ass off to save one for yourself? I remember you telling me how it sucks to hear that from a friend and how much it sucks more to give advice regarding the matter. You wanted to refuse but you knew better. As a more mature person you helped and you didn’t expect something in return. Did I tell you that that’s one of the many things I love about you?

Even if you don’t show it, I know you cried. You are one of the strongest people I know but when you start to cry, you certainly don’t know how to stop. I am fully aware of the time when you cried the hardest because I didn’t get to sleep that night. I wanted to tell you that everything’s going to be ok. But instead, I just made you feel I was just right there beside you. In fact I’m always there beside you. When everything else fails, worst comes to worse and I’ll jump off the cliff with you. Have I told you how much I love you and how much I’d love to run to you every time you call? Well... you are aware of that now, apparently. Don’t worry. Have you forgotten how I told you I’d never leave you until I have given you everything I promised? Have you forgotten the fact that I have plans for you... and those plans are so beautiful, if I could just show it to you now. All you need to do is to carry on...