Change and Whatevers

     So I haven't written anything for decades...  Whatever.

     I actually don't know how to start writing again and what to write to begin with. There's just a lot of things that has happened lately that I needed an output for feelings that I prefer not swimming inside my head. Feelings or the lack of it.

     While I was on my way to work this morning, I got to thinking about how my personality has changed. Frankly, I'm not sure if my personality had changed mainly because I've been dreading the thought of it. I've been trying to be the same person who left Manila 10 months ago but I'm afraid that I've been experiencing a psychology theory that your environment greatly affects you as a person. If you are what you eat and what you eat is from an environment of entirely different culture, is it possible that I've been ingesting my new environment? 

     I also got to thinking how much (or less) I've been speaking lately. Everyone knows I'm quite a chatty person. Like a friend-once-caught-me-talking-to-my-pen-while-waiting-for-our-prof kind of chatty person. Ok, that might be a little scary. But the point is, lately I've been talking mostly only in my head. And I had not realized it until earlier when I asked myself when was the last time I opened my mouth to talk and I had to stop for a couple of minutes to think of the answer. In my own defense, I was asked to be the emcee of our company exhibition last weekend and I had to talk for hours in front of our booth for two days. But that's talking, not chatting. I miss the days when I'm with my friends and there's just too many things to talk about that the conversations often end up with all of us shouting to one another just to be heard. It's like when someone asks you when was the last time you had sex and you have to think about it because it's been too long. And yes, it's been too long since I ... whatever. TMI.

     There are also some episodes when I just lose all the hope in the world. Like, I see all the negative things that has happened to me. I look for the bright side but only to look for loopholes. And then I asses what I know what I don't know. Basically it's psychological bungee jumping while hoping that your parachute wouldn't open. Maybe it's exhaustion induced or my positivity took an early holiday vacation or whatever.

     In any case, I think I'm going to go back on writing. Maybe revamp this blog or whatever. I don't know if anyone still reads this but I want to make this as personal as possible. Maybe share a secret or two sometime. Or maybe rant or ramble. Whatever.

iloveuK.

Pag-ibig

Isa sa mga bagay na mahirap ipaliwanag ang pag-ibig. Mahirap ipaliwanag kasi, gaya ng sinasabi ng karamihan complicated daw ito. Complicated kasi gaya ng hangin, pabago-bago ang ihip nito. Minsan malamig, minsan mainit, minsan nagbibigay ginhawa pero kadalasan nakakapuwing.

Resume'

Naniniwala akong ang mga social networking sites ay sinasalihan para magkaron ng mga bagong kaibigan.
At upang magkaron ka ng bagong kaibigan, kailangan mong magpakilala. Nakita ko 'tong resume' ko na ginawa ko noon pa para sa isang kaibigan. Naisip ko lang na interesante palang mabasa ko ulit kung paano ko "ibenta" ang sarili ko sa ibang tao at kung pano ko tignan ang sarili ko sa pananaw ng ibang tao.

Music and Lyrics

Naisip mo na ba kung anong kalalabasan ng mundo ‘pag walang music? Ang weird siguro kung manonood ka ng isang fashion show nang walang music. O ng dance contest na walang sounds at sasayaw lang ang mga contestant sa saliw ng palakpak ng mga tao. Aakalain ko sigurong declamation contest ang isang concert kung walang tugtog.

How To Be Alone

Salamat kay Chico.

Habang pinapanood ko 'to, lalo kong na-appreciate ang pagiging isa. Matagal ko nang pinagtatanggol sa mga kaibigan ko ang pagiging "single", pero ngayon ko lang nalaman kung bakit ok lang sa akin ang maging single. Hindi ko sinasabing hindi ko gustong magkaron ng relasyon sa ibang tao, ang sinasabi ko lang, kagaya ng sinasabi ng napakagandang tulang ito, sa napaka-liwanang na pagkaka-explain ni Chico Garcia...

Kumpisal Ng Isang Manunulat

Sa kagustuhan kong magsulat uli sa istilong pinaka-kumportable ako, at sa kagustuhan kong magsanay para gumanda (ulit) ang sulat-kamay ko, naisipan kong gawin ang blog post gamit ang papel at ballpen. Parati ko kasing sinasabi sa sarili ko na baka kaya hindi ako masyadong successful sa pagba-blog eh dahil isa akong manunulat, hindi isang blogger. Naisulat ko naman ng maayos ang unang talatang binabasa mo ngayon. Hindi ko man naibalik ang dati kong napaka-gandang sulat-kamay (at dahil nahihirapan na akong basahin at i-type ang nakasulat sa notebook ko dito sa blogsite), natutunan ko naman ang isang napaka-importanteng aral ng buhay – Masakit sa hinlalaki at sa hintuturo ang pagsusulat kapag bagong gupit at pupod ang mga kuko mo.

Comic Relief

I noticed that my blog is becoming much of a drama anthology.

So before I post some of my "more entertaining" writings, here's a short "comic relief". It's posted on my friendster blog and I thought this might be a perfect "front-act" for my future posts.

To My Dearest...

You once again proved how your emotions can sometimes turn into a roller coaster ride.

A lot of things happened. Things that you were not expecting to happen. Or maybe you did but you shook the ideas off long time ago. Maybe it’s time to look back and see what you might have missed. Sit down. I want to talk to you about them.

Happyness

A friend asked me why I spell happiness as "happyness". At first I thought that I'm spelling it that way just to make me unique. But then the question made me stop for a while and and then I realized one thing. Maybe my subconsious suggests I spell it incorrectly because essentially, we can not find real happiness in perfection. And maybe that is also the reason why Will Smith's movie was entitled "The Pursuit of Happyness".

Dalawampu't Tatlo

Para sa mga isdang nauubusan ng oxygen sa dagat dahil sa global warming...


Kasabay daw sa pagtanda ng tao ang pagiging marunong n'ya. Isa sa mga katanggap-tanggap na kaisipian ng anumang sibilisasyon na nagkakaroon ng dunong o "wisdom" ang tao habang nadadagdagan ang araw na inilalagi n'ya sa mundo. At dahil nadagdagan nanaman ang bilang sa edad ko, naisipan kong pagsama-samahin ang mga bagay na natutunan ko mula nang namulat ang isip ko sa katotohanang imposibleng maging miyembro ako ng Ghost Fighter.